no idea

i don't know what has been going on with me lately, but for the past month or so it seems like i'll go a couple of days being happy and no problems, to putting my fist through a wall angry for a couple of days, then happy, rage, happy, rage. i mean i had to call jerry at midnight to help me calm down after that article i read about getting evicted for flying the american flag. he says it's just the final straw that broke my back ya know?! i don't know, i guess the more you pay attention to the fallout around you, the more it spikes your blood pressure. which i guess is why there is that saying "ignorance is bliss". yeah, i guess it was. but once you're educated, there is no going back.
someone at work asked me if i had kids and the answer was a quick, no doubt, hell no. and he thought i was kidding when i also added "and i don't want any either". see, for those of you who just adore children, i don't have that natural instinct to breed. point of fact even the thought makes me twitch in the sniper way. but even if i did have that pull, why would i want to bring a child into this world right now anyway? i mean seriously? ok, scenario, i have a kid in 2010, by 2018 it's up for graduating high school. prospects for a future: he has to speak at least 2 other languages besides english just to get a job even at the burger joint, he better be a minority, the next albert einstein, or i won the lottery before he'll be able to even think about college, if there is still a college here in this country that americans are allowed to go to. jobs, if he can even find one, will not be able to pay enough for the kid to ever pay for anything besides a pizza on the weekends, he'll have to walk or ride a bike or a bus to both school and job because he'll not be able to afford the gas or insurance or the car itself. and now the way things are going with this administration, he might as well defect from here and rush over to china if he wants to have a life, because i'll be in prison for murder and failing to buy health insurance. the latter is obvious, the murder has to do with the stupid dhr person who comes to my house to take away my kid because i disciplined him when he cussed me out and crapped in the floor because he wasn't getting some kind of positive attention or something you hear those stupid twits from the nanny shows saying.
i have some praying to do and some thinking to do. i need to knock out 3 newsletters in 2 weeks. while working and church and my hubby and my dad's birthdays this weekend and spending time with them both and tax class and another yard sale and dear lord. i'm going to bed.
god bless you all